finished product

its finally done. I' cross stitched this for the baby's room. Pretty excited about it, and about how cute it turned out.

more excitement: on sunday I will be 20 weeks along, officially halfway.
even more excitement: on tuesday I will have my anatomy scan, where they look at all of my baby's organs and make sure everything is growing nicely, and they also take a look see at the gender and I am so excited to find out!

Inside my mind

Its been a tough week for me, emotionally speaking.
First off... I have written this blog several times over the last 2 years and have deleted it every time because I don't want all the comments and attention over it, and also because I don't want everyone to get offended, but I've decided that I need to get it off my chest because that is the only way to heal.
I have no friends, only people who were once my best friends, and now we say we need to get together or hang out... but its never going to happen. Why? Because I have stopped making the effort. I almost never get those random texts or calls, but once upon a time I made a lot of them. When I stopped making effort is exactly when we stopped being friends. That really sucks. But the good news is that I still love each and every one of my friends that I had just the same as I always did.
so here's a letter to all of my used to be friends

Hi,
I really miss hanging out with you and I wish we really would get together more often. I miss being close and laughing all the time, and doing crazy fun things together. I wish we could go on more adventures. Once upon a time we were best friends, we told each other everything and we cried together, and laughed together. Sometimes I still need that; need to talk out all my fears and worries, need to talk about all the things that make me happy.
I'm about to start on this new adventure, motherhood, and I really want to share it with you, I love you and want you to be a part of this baby's life. I want to cry on your shoulder and tell you about all my fears about becoming a mommy and if I'll be any good at it. I want you to come shopping with me for all those little baby items. I want you to be a part of my life.
I want you to call me on the phone and talk for hours about your life and all of the things that make you happy and sad and worried and crazy.
I want to be like family.

If you want that too... maybe you should text me, and maybe someday we really will have lunch.
Love, Me

Birthday

I had such a good Birthday this year, even though it was simple. My mom bought me my very first large purchase for my birthday and because we found a great deal. we got this cute car seat


with a matching stroller. (Teddy bear was not included in this deal, it was mine already)

this is the inside of the stroller and car seat canvas. I love it! Its so colorful!

this is a cross stitch that I am working on for the baby's room and for my birthday I got to go get some flosses that I was missing.


AJ got me this wonderful movie to add to my Disney collection and we sad down and watched it in 3D first thing.



This is the cutest little doll that AJ got me! For those of you who don't know I am obsessed with Disney and Sleeping Beauty is my favorite. My AJ spoils me so bad.

We also went to Red Lobster for their endless shrimp special! It was WONDERFUL. Loved it. We're going again before the deal is over this month.

Frustrated

My emotions this past week have been a roller coaster. I know its because I'm pregnant, but it has been so hard for me to remain calm and happy. Things that normally could slide right off my back have hit me so much harder than normal. I'm mad at things I shouldn't be, and sad at things that are very minor. Its been very hard. Thank Heaven for Conference, and for my husband who really is my best friend and is so willing to listen to my feelings and for my mom who is ready to deal with my emotions whenever and however they come.

All of that being said it has also been a wonderful week for me. I have finally realized what that little flutter is in my tummy. Its a beautiful baby in there, making his or her vigor for life very apparent. Its been so wonderful, when I am especially down, to feel those little kicks and punches. Its as if baby is saying to me "mommy I love you!" and that is wonderfully fulfilling. Even AJ has been able to feel a kick or two! It doesn't happen a lot but its so reassuring when it does.
I'm 17 weeks along today! Only just over 3 weeks before we find out if we're welcoming a little boy or girl.
Also exciting news.... my BIRTHDAY is on Tuesday. I'll be 22 which is so weird to me. I'm excited though to celebrate.